Sunday, August 7, 2016

Final Impression 

These words will be the last words of an extraordinary and life-changing experience. By Sunday, I will have been staying for six weeks in New Haven. New Haven, this city which at first seems to be without any singularity, has been full of surprises from the railway station to the Yale Art Gallery. This city has been more endearing than I could have ever imagined. At every corner, you can find a new place to discover, a place full of stories, a place which has lived through centuries of history. I have been in New Haven for six weeks but I have the feeling that I have known this city for years. When I first arrived in New Haven, I discovered a new type of architecture, a new lifestyle, and new people. Now after six weeks, it is high time to come to the conclusions. 

Six weeks ago, I did not know anyone in this program. Now after living six weeks together, we have built a relationship together. We were both strangers and foreigners, and now we are much more than just friends since we are all linked by this wonderful experience which will remain printed in our minds. Sometimes, we do not realize what is happening in our lives and we need to pinch ourselves to make sure that it is real. This kind of experience needs clearly many twinges to understand what is happening. I have met wonderful people who also wanted to know different languages and to broaden their horizons by meeting people from the rest of the world.

During these six weeks, I have had the chance to visit different places − the chance to see the sunset in Central Park and to run next to the Hudson River; the chance to visit the Hamptons, which is an extremely peaceful place; the chance to walk next to the Charles River while seeing such institutions as the MIT; the chance to see the sunrise on the beautiful campus of Yale University every morning and, of course, the chance to participate in such a program.

During these six weeks, I have not only improved my English level but also I have learned from all the different places in the city. I have learned how to have a different point of view and how to look behind your first impression of a place. I have learned how to appreciate more a painting by creating a story which can explain the painting. I have learned the power of choosing carefully my words since it will change how the readers will perceive what I wrote about. 

Six weeks ago, I was expecting to know more about America and to broaden my horizons. I can say now that I have known more about America and I have broadened my horizons thanks to this wonderful experience. I have not only seen how Americans live but I also had the opportunity to live like Americans. It might be the end of the adventure in Yale but this adventure will stay forever in my mind. I will never forget every single detail as if they were printed in my mind.

Thursday, August 4, 2016






I will always remember every single detail as if it were printed on my mind. The night when I attended the opening performance of Swan Lake at the Opera House in Paris will be my most memorable experience. The first ballerina was as magnificent as the swans in the narrow stream behind her on the stage. She was dancing with the same virtuosity these birds have when they swim. She was not the only ballerina but she was the one who had the same grace as the white creatures. I will always remember that smile she had on her face while she was executing every single step perfectly well. The violins were enhancing not only the majesty of the theater but also her movements. Every gesture was so accurate I did not know where to look but I was fascinated by her. She was not perfect but her slight imperfection made her performance so unique. She did not need to give everything she could to make her performance much more than remarkable. She was not so talented but she had something singular, some sort of purity.

She was not one of the best ballerinas ever but she was passionate about what she was doing. Before her, I had never seen anyone as passionate and every move she made was performed in a magical way.
It was much more than dancing, she was doing her best to achieve her goals and to enthrall the audience.

I learned from her that no matter what is happening in your life, no matter what you have been through, you must believe in yourself. If you do not do so, no one will do it for you. She was ready to strive completely to get what she wanted. So she was the perfect example for me. I had the opportunity to spend time with her on several occasions. Most of the time, I was so impressed by her maturity that I preferred to let her do what she wanted to do on her own even if I knew that it might not be a success. She had shown that she also knew how to persevere: indeed, she was used to fighting hard for her beliefs. 

I have watched her grow up and become who she is. She was the one who made me most proud. I was proud of her, I was proud of having shared with her everything I had. She was my daughter and she was the most important accomplishment in my life. Sometimes, some parents say that rapidly but I swore she was the person I admired most. I gave her everything I could to make her have the brightest life. We were not rich but that did not matter since we had that strength of temperament and we knew how to persevere and fight for the values we believed in. We loved each other more than anything else. 


I wanted to remember each particular detail of that night so I ordered this painting to pay tribute to her life. It was the moment in her life that she had most enjoyed. She, brandishing this sumptuous bouquet of pink and white flowers, was looking at me and she was proud of what she had done, and I was looking at her with pride for who she had become. I have never had the chance to see her as an adult but I have seen her fulfilled. This was all  I wanted to see before I died. I will remember every single detail as if it were printed on my heart.

Monday, August 1, 2016

Personal statement: Done
Comparaison and contrast paper


Initially, Jerry and Jeannette appear to have nothing in common. These two children did not come from the same environment at all and they both had a completely different upbringing. But both of them grew up in a difficult environment. The first one, Jerry, left alone at the age of four, lived in an orphanage. He was not like any average child: indeed, he was very mature for a twelve-year-old. He had gained this maturity because of his particular life. The latter, Jeannette, had her two parents Rose Mary and Rex Walls, but  most of the time they were absent or extremely careless. They did not know how to bring up a child. Consequently, she also became mature at an early stage and proved umpteen times that she was. These two kids did not have the same chance as other children of the same age because they were left to themselves. They both learned from the most difficult school: the school of life. How did such a difficult environment affect Jeannette’s and Jerry’s temperaments? First, I will study the relationships the children had with their relatives as the foundation of their psychological development. Then, I will focus on how this environment (had) reinforced their respective temperaments and, finally, how they came to build up a shell in order to protect themselves and to move forward in life.

First, the two characters shared a world between security and insecurity, even if they were not in the same position. On the one hand, Jerry received the protection of the writer for whom he was working, especially when he was in her home that could be considered a safe haven: indeed, he seemed to be safe there, away from his usual environment at the orphanage. The (semantic field?) illustrates perfectly well the fact that Jerry seemed to be very comfortable because the writer gave him the warmth of a home which he did not ordinarily have. The fireplace and the wood represent well the warmth of the house. In fact, the wood is a noble material which represents heat. Although Jerry found security when he went to the narrator’s house, he spent most of his time in the orphanage which was a cold place according to the writer. It seemed to be a very isolated and remote because it was “high in the Carolina Mountains” and it is also described as very cold because the author makes a reference to the snowdrifts; furthermore, “the institution is cut off from the village below, from all the world”. This place was definitively not a place where Jerry felt well-at-ease because it was not welcoming. 
On the contrary, Jeannette did not receive the protection Jerry managed to get either at the writer’s house or at the orphanage. For example, although she was not so far from her mother, Jeannette was able to cook on her own without her mother’s surveillance at the age of three. Her mother preferred to be in the “next room singing while she worked on one of her paintings” instead of cooking with and for her child. This lack of surveillance points out the fact that anything can happen to this little girl, without anybody being aware of it or feeling concerned about it. Moreover, the mother did not seem ready to rescue her child in the case that something wrong occurred to her. This is what happened on the day when Jeannette was severely burnt: indeed, as she was on fire, she “screamed again” in order to receive the help she needed. The word “again” emphasizes the insecurity that was prevalent in the house. Fortunately, like Jerry, Jeannette found a place which seemed very pleasant and protected: paradoxically enough, this was the hospital where she had to stay for several weeks after being badly burnt. For instance, when she was in hospital, she described the place as peaceful: “everyone spoke in polite, calm voices”. This proves that this place was like a home for her, and even better the nurses really cared about her: “The nurses and doctors always asked how I was feeling and if I was hungry or needed anything. The nurses brought me delicious meals three times a day, with fruit cocktail or Jell-O for dessert, and changed the sheets even if they still looked clean”. All these examples show that the two children existed between security and insecurity. So they had mixed feelings about the situation but in all cases, they seemed to be comfortable and they knew how to adapt themselves regardless of the situation. The fact that they were usually suspended between comfortable moments and difficult moments, or security and insecurity, proves that they could be psychological unstable. 
    Furthermore, throughout the novel, Jerry built up a relationship with the narrator that was based on trust. Progressively in the novel, a real link slowly materialized between Jerry and the narrator. This connection seemed to last and to become even stronger once the writer left Jerry to take care of his dog. We can see it in the novel when Jerry waited for hours to speak to the writer; after noticing it, the writer mentioned that the “place was warm from his body where he had been sitting”, it shows that Jerry loved being next to the writer regardless of time and of the attention the writer really paid to him. In short, he loved this place because it was a real home that was embodied by the fireplace in front of which he used to sit for hours without being disturbed. The connection he had with the narrator could be the first stable relationship he had in his life, apart from the imaginary relationship with a mother he never had. Indeed, Jerry did not seem to have been emotionally involved in a relationship since he seemed to be hardened by life, as can be illustrated by the way he chopped the wood, and clearly he seemed to have found some shelter in his imaginary world since he was left to himself all the time. 
As for Jeannette, on the other hand, she seemed to have received a good education and to have succeeded in life, as indicated in the very first pages of the novel. This educational background comes from her mother who was a learned person. She appreciated both art and literature, which is shown in the references she makes to Picasso. If the relationship Jeannette had with both her mother and father was the most important relationship, the reader is made to realize that, once a grown-up, she felt ashamed of them. Indeed, it is easy to see the emotional involvement in this connection when, after hiding in the cab when she saw her mother “picking through trash in East Village”, she later decided to have lunch with her. Besides, while remembering the moment before she was on fire because of her mother’s lack of surveillance, Jeannette seemed to be having a good time, even if she was on her own. Indeed, by the way she described her tutu “wearing a pink dress…. Pink is my favorite color”, the reader can infer that she was perfectly comfortable with the situation. They needed that kind of connections because thanks to them, they could face all kinds of situations. This connection based on trust proves to be the basis of their psychological stability.
    In addition, for Jerry and Jeannette, these two strong connections enabled their own development. But one of them seems to be stronger. Indeed, in the first two chapters from the novel, we can read that whatever the situation Jeannette had to face, she trusted her parents more than anybody else. When her father came in order to take her back home, he said “You trust your old man” and she seemed to do so. On the contrary, at the end of the novel, Jerry did not trust the writer anymore. Actually, the fact that the writer preferred to leave instead of facing the situation proves that the connection between the writer and Jerry was not strong enough. In these two situations, it is clear that there is nothing stronger than a biological relationship coming from blood. That is why Jeannette seemed to be psychologically more stable and stronger than Jerry. I will illustrate thereafter why Jerry is less unstable than Jeannette. 


Second, in Rawling’s novel “A Mother in Mannville” and Wall’s book “The Glass Castle” both main characters had reinforced their temperaments because of their conditions. As we have already seen, Jeannette and Jerry had had difficult childhoods. They both had developed very strong temperaments. 
    The main feature they had in common is their incredible independence. Jerry was very mature for his age and he knew how to handle a situation without any help (coming) from adults. He proved to be independent several times. For example, when he had to take care of the writer’s dog because the writer left town, he showed his ability to manage a difficult situation although he had not received any indication from the narrator. Indeed, because of the fog, the writer could not tell Jerry what to do. Indeed, in order to feed the dog, Jerry had to share his own meal from the orphanage. This reaction demonstrates that Jerry was not a typical kid. He was much more adult than an average child. As for Jeannette, she was also very independent because she knew how to do everything by herself. The writer points out the fact that she had been cooking for herself several times. Indeed, the way she described herself cooking hotdogs shows that she knows how to cook well and also that she is used to cooking for herself. In addition, when she was in the hospital she showed her independence. Whereas all children need their parents when they are in hospital, Jeannette did not need them. In fact, during her stay at the hospital there was no word about her parents, which demonstrates her independence. Surprisingly enough, she realizes that they do not fit in the hospital: “When my family came to visit, their arguing and laughing and singing and shouting echoed through the quiet halls. The nurses made shushing noises, and Mom and Dad and Lori and Brian lowered their voices for a few minutes, then they slowly grew loud again”.
These various examples show that because of their environment, both children had learned to become independent and to deal with their predicaments. Indeed, their independence is a way for both of them to protect themselves. They usually had to face trying situations, and because of this quality,

they could handle every type of challenge.
Moreover, Jerry and Jeannette were two very strong characters. They were not only independent but also hardened by their living conditions. Several times Jerry proved to be more resistant and stronger than the other children of his age. Even when the writer told him that he was too small to chop the wood, he replied “Size don’t matter, chopping wood”. That demonstrated that he was quite confident about what he was doing. He also said “some of the big boys don’t chop good”. “The big boys” stand for the strong boys that live in his orphanage. He thought he was better than these boys who were obviously two and three times bigger than him since he is very small. As for Jeannette, when she was in hospital, she proved not only that she was very independent but also that she had the temperament to face every situation. Even if she was burnt in part because of her mother’s lack of surveillance, she knew how to face difficult moments. She said that: “Look, I’m a half-mummy”. She obviously knew that her health was not very good but she was brave enough to confront the predicament; moreover, when her doll was burnt by the candle, she probably realized how badly hurt and well cured she had been: “I realized, to my horror, that her face was starting to melt. […] I wished I could perform a skin graft on Tinkerbell”. Here, the doll appears as a replica of the little girl. These two children are very different from the other children of their age. They had built a real strong temperament that enabled them to confront very difficult situations. They were not only physically but also mentally strong. There is repetition in this paragraph


Finally, I will concentrate on the fact that both had not only built a strong temperament but also a real shell in order to protect themselves from the outside world or from other people. I will start by focusing on Jeannette and then I shall continue by talking about Jerry. 
As implied in the title of the novel, “The Glass Castle”, Jeannette decided to build up a shell, or rather a castle around her to protect herself. She was master of the values she decided to adopt. When she was in hospital, she said something rather shocking for a girl who is that young; “but if I’m not, that’s okay, too”. She displayed a form of existentialism. Indeed, when she said this (sentence), she showed that no matter what happened to her, she could deal with it. For instance, instead of being afraid of fires, she became fascinated by them, which surprised their neighbor. At the same time, she gradually became aware of her parents’ flaws but she nevertheless obeyed them, especially when her father decided not to go back and fetch her favorite doll while driving the whole family into the desert because he was fleeing “bill collectors”. He also proved cruel when he got rid of their cat. So, in facing these situation, Jeannette had to harden and protect herself.
 As for Jerry, he had created a huge shell in order to protect himself from the outside world. Indeed, it is clear that the story he had invented about his mother living in the nearby town is a way of protecting himself. He wanted to be like the other children, which implies having a mother, being offered some presents from her etc. So he invented a story in order to keep thinking he was like the others. Unconsciously, he wanted to have the protection from a mother but because he did not have the chance to have one, he created a whole story where he was the main character and the center of interest.  He said to the writer “My mother is in Mannville” in order to show that he was not alone because he did not want to be alone or to be considered like the other orphans. Moreover, in the novel, the reader can see that Jerry had a lot of imagination. Indeed, he gave a real name to the rhododendron, Laurel, which underlines the fact that he had not only created a story about his mother but also a real world where he did not have to face any difficult situation. At some point, it was a world in which he had a total control since he was making it up.



All in all, Jerry and Jeannette are two characters who had to face difficult situations in their childhoods: the first one because he was an orphan and the other one because her parents were too often careless. Because of that, they proved to be more unstable psychologically but also thanks to this situation, they had reinforced their temperament in order to become much more mature and independent than the other children of their age. But the most important fact in these two stories is that they both had created a shell in order to protect themselves and to help them move forward with their lives. Their protections reflected their psychological instability since Jerry had created a real world and Jeannette displayed a form of existentialism.